This is going to be my blog, not just as a guide but as a person. So the topics chosen for this blog will be whatever topics interesting for me. Everything what surprises me, inspires me, shocks or makes me think. Why am I starting this blog? Just because I want to share my thoughts and feelings. With you as well, my guests and clients, no matter in which part of the world you might live. So there is no specific topic for this blog to be set as the basic one. This is just the way to express myself. It is not very easy to express yourself not in your own language. In Russia we had the only writer, Vladimir Nabokov, for whom two languages, English and Russian were native and it did not matter for him in which language to write his novels. I am not like him of course. But I will try my best.
There is sometimes a strange question in application forms “Can you write anything special about yourself, about your personality?” Of course in application form nobody is expected to write the truth but if I was expected and motivated to say the truth what would I say? We have a writer in Russia Eugeny Grishkovets who wrote that he has a respect for a kind of “strange people” who are… just normal people, happy and active, and most probably successful but who have something in the depths of their life, some secret or problem, or question, or thought which does not let them be 100 % happy and 100 % “normal”. Maybe it is a dream which has not been realized yet, or some quiz which the life has given to them and which they haven’t done yet, or unhappy love which has not been forgotten or finished, or just a sort of some strange seekness in heart. Grishkovets then says that he himself is also a representative of this sort of “strange people”. As for me, I am also a sort of a “stranger”. The one who has been trained to live and behave as a “normal and happy” person but about whom is not 100 % true. And I am keen on people who are like mystery or like quiz. Maybe because this is so close to the way I live and feel. I don’t like exeplary families and exeplary happiness. Though we still have so much of this staff in Russia and so many people who feel clever enough to teach this exeplary happiness. Maybe this is a relict of the Soviet Union past. My husband who is a little bit older than me and who grew up in the “real reality” of the USSR of the 1970s once told me that teaching to “be happy” was so well built there and so effective that already being in a kindergarden all boys were willing to go through military service to become “real men” and all girls were willing to have a family and kids to become “real women”. So this is a model of “exeplary happiness” I so much hate. As I believe that happiness is not the thing you can possess and build (like a notebook or a car) but this is some feeling or some anticipation about the “new Universe”. Or how one my friend, psychologist, usually says “Universe where time will be full, not cut into past, present and future, Universe of the full information zone”.
This is why I still remember my trip to New York, it seemed there that there is no exeplary happiness here, or exeplary job, or exeplary belief, or exeplary religion. As there are so many different nationalities and different lifestyles, and different churches and religions around you. And the best thing is that noone is concerned about this variety and cacophony as if it was a laboratory of the creation of some new type of the humanity and all the previous history is (or soon going to be) just a “pre-history”, preparation for the real history which is only being born at the moment.